Long Hard Fall Read online

  Hannah crawled into the back after wiping her feet off the best she could. “And it’s what you’re gonna get.”

  As they drove back, Abbi looked herself over. A muddy mess, though much of it dried. Ellis would’ve shit himself if she’d walked up to his vehicle in the state she was in. As if he’d be out fishing in less than a boat, a life vest, and white sunblock slathered on his nose.

  The towel Cash spread out for her was an old one he must keep on hand, but he only had one and Hannah sat in the back with grimy feet. Abbi’s feet were in worse shape, with nothing between them and the floor mat.

  “It’ll dry and vacuum out easy enough,” Cash said. “This truck has seen much worse.”

  “I was just marveling that I wouldn’t get away with this at home, and your vehicle is more expensive than anything I’ve been in before.”

  “It’s just a pickup. We treat our equipment with respect, but it’s purchased with work in mind. Getting dirty is a part of life.”

  “It’s a part of your life. But I was messing around.”

  “Oh, we mess around, honey.” Cash’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

  “I’m going to ignore the innuendo,” Hannah said, “and agree with Cash. There’s no reason to feel guilty. Live a little.”

  Words she used to live by. Live a little. She could pinpoint exactly when she’d quit living. Three weeks after she’d buried her brother, she’d been asked out by her girlfriends. She’d called Ellis, and he’d asked her what her parents would think, pointed out that she should consider their feelings.

  Emotion swelled, a mixture Abbi couldn’t identify. Loss, bitterness, regret. She’d have to deal with those, but not tonight.

  Hannah tapped her shoulder. “You’re staying longer, right? We can find you something to wear.”

  “Oh, I don’t know—”

  “Come on. It’s so early yet. Like, not even ten p.m.”

  Her mind spun. She wanted to say yes so badly. And not just to be around Cash longer. With Hannah, she’d found the thrill of life she’d been missing.

  “Oh, wait. Cash?” Hannah cocked her head to the side. “I think I heard her say yes. Did you hear her say yes?”

  Abbi giggled and Cash grinned. She recognized the signs. Big brother couldn’t say no to little sister. How many times had Perry caved to her shenanigans? He might have regretted it after they’d been busted by their parents, like when Abbi was ten and had filled Mom’s expensive vases with sand and earth worms.

  “Do you mind?” she asked Cash.

  “Ain’t nothing better than a midnight fish fry, honey.”

  ***

  Abbi was breathless. She fanned herself and gasped in lungfuls of air. She sank into the couch as her last fit of laughter died down. Her stomach was ready to burst from all the food she’d eaten in the last hour and the empty cans of beer littered in front of her.

  They were in the basement. Cash had the fireplace going, but Abbi would’ve been warm enough in his old, gray army sweatshirt of his and flannel bottoms borrowed from his sister. Her feet were bare, but toasty, and shoved under the couch cushions, where Cash’s butt warmed them.

  Hannah abruptly rose and stretched. “I have a meeting with the recruiter tomorrow, and since it’s one in the morning, I’m getting my ass to bed.”

  Cash opened his mouth, but Hannah flounced up the stairs, leaving them alone. Abbi considered her environment. She was sitting alone with him, with her feet under his ass. The night was ending on a high note.

  “Well, then,” he said and patted her leg. “It’s going to be an early morning. Mom always cleans up after herself, so the room she used is ready to go for you.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” Disappointment curdled in her belly. What had she expected?

  A whole lot more. She’d just spent hours bonding with him and his sister and he’d taught her how to cook a damn good fillet.

  He stood and held out a hand for her. She unfolded herself and accepted it.

  But when she rose, he didn’t move. And she was close. A subtle smell of lake and savory seasonings clung to him. A little smudge of flour from breading the fish clung to his black T-shirt.

  Her hand was still in his. She licked her lips and gazed up at him.

  Heat filled his eyes, but he didn’t make a move.

  Her attention dropped to his lips. He was a good kisser. She liked that about him. She liked a lot about him. Releasing his hand, she rested hers on his shoulders.

  “I’m not touching you tonight, Abbi,” he said softly.

  Startled, she met his gaze. “Why not?”

  She had to ask why a guy didn’t want her. Humiliation started a slow burn in her cheeks.

  His gaze swept the empty drink cans around them. He dropped his head to whisper in her ear. “Because the next time we have sex, you’re going to remember every second.”

  Hot desire replaced embarrassment. She wanted that, too.

  So many retorts ran through her head, but she didn’t know what to say.

  Finally, she playfully pushed him away. “You should’ve told me earlier. Now we both have to wait.”

  Shooting him her most sultry smile, she sauntered up the stairs.

  Chapter Ten

  Cash woke up early to do chores. With a groan, he got out of bed and dressed. Too little sleep. That sexy woman in the next room was messing up his schedule left and right.

  He pulled on a hoodie over his shirt. Early October mornings could either be refreshing or cold as fuck depending on what the wind and sun wanted to do.

  He went toward the kitchen. His nose twitched.

  Toast?

  He ambled into the kitchen and stopped. The best ass he’d ever seen was turned toward him as Abbi spread peanut butter and jelly onto some bread.

  Were those his boxers?

  Yeah, he’d probably stashed some clothes he didn’t wear anymore but hadn’t gotten rid of in the room Mom had used. He was horrible about caring for the house and everything inside. He’d much rather be out doing his chores, working cattle, and riding horse.

  Unless this was inside waiting for him. Abbi’s round butt cheeks bunched and flexed as she reached for more toast. When she popped back on her heels, her butt bounced and filled his head with ideas of what she looked like as he took her from behind.

  Auburn hair swung from a messy ponytail. She was an ultimate temptress without trying.

  As if getting to sleep with a raging erection hadn’t been a hard enough challenge, he had to do chores while his shaft throbbed and cursed him for having too much pride. Who cared how clearly she remembered their time together as long as she was willing?

  He cared.

  His gut told him she hadn’t been hammered and the sex would’ve been more phenomenal than before. But he’d been blindsided by her nearly complete lack of recall last time. A night that’d rocked his world had left her in the dark.

  But today was a new day. He tapped on the doorframe.

  She spun with a gasp. “Oh god, you scared me.”

  “Couldn’t sleep?”

  She winced, but covered it with a chuckle. “I must be too used to slamming hotel doors. It’s like the complete silence out here is so loud. It takes some getting used to and I’ll totally need a nap later.” Handing him a plate of toast, her smile almost shy. “We ate so late last night, I wasn’t sure you’d want anything, but I need a little something in my stomach.”

  “Oh, good. I thought your reaction the other day was from me.”

  Pink colored her cheeks. “I think it had more to do with the greasy food I piled onto the alcohol from the night before.”

  He bit into his toast.

  “You make my body feel other things.”

  He almost choked and she snickered.

  He finished his food and dug out a couple glasses for juice. “You remember last night, though?”

  Shooting him a meaningful look, she accepted her glass of OJ. “Yes. I didn’t have that much to drink, and I didn’t mix
alcohol.”

  So, he’d missed his chance. But he wanted to hear his name screamed from her lips and Sissy was staying under the same roof. Awkward.

  Abbi wasn’t going to be another quick fuck. Last time hadn’t turned out quick, either, thanks to him conking out like a baby until morning.

  “Are you going back to bed or getting your hands dirty with me?” He held his breath, waiting for her answer. Spending this much time with a woman who wasn’t kin just didn’t happen, but he wanted it to.

  She peered out the kitchen window and looked down at her clothes. “I’ll run and change.”

  The corner of his mouth kicked up in a smile, and he made sure not to miss her sexy sashay out of the room.

  He stayed in place and stared down into his glass.

  He liked her. Despite her reason for hanging around him, the part of her brother she hadn’t known, she’d been the calm in the storm that was his family life the last few days.

  There’d been no abuse, so Cash had always justified his parents’ relationship and how they treated him as normal. He was lucky—he had a home, he was his own boss, and his family loved him. And Mom did love him, even though they didn’t share blood. There’d been no cruelty. His father had never raised a hand to Mom or Sissy. Neither had Mom physically punished Cash or Sissy. Groundings had been fairly frequent and Mom could give a tongue-lashing that’d leave a man limping but nothing close to corporal punishment.

  So, he’d told himself he had it good. Damn good. But he just wasn’t cut out for a relationship—he was his father’s son, after all.

  He frowned as he remembered the time in high school when he’d started dating Bobbi Jo Wilkins. They’d been sixteen and she’d been the cheerleader for his football team. Things had been going well, drama free, and Bobbi Jo had gone through the meet-the-parents gig. He and Bobbi Jo hadn’t even had sex, both still virgins despite some hot and heavy make-out sessions.

  Then he’d been waiting for a ride after school. Mom was going to pick him up because she’d had to use the truck that day. Waiting outside, he’d been laughing and joking around with Jennie, another classmate. Didn’t think it’d even elevated to the level of harmless flirting.

  But Mom had seen and been pissed. He’d gotten lectured all the way home about how he didn’t deserve a nice girl like Bobbi Jo if he couldn’t refrain from hitting on another girl at only sixteen. Mom had asked him to imagine how Bobbi Jo would’ve felt driving up on a scene like that and then having to walk around school the next day while everyone gave her pitying looks.

  Cash had been humbled and guilt ridden. He’d broken up with Bobbi Jo the next day, thinking he was doing her a favor. She was married now, with three kids, and still one of the sweetest people he knew. But he’d changed that day.

  God, why hadn’t he seen it? He didn’t get a case of what-could-have-beens when he thought of his first and last official girlfriend, but that day had changed the whole trajectory of his life.

  His time with Abbi made him ask what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in a relationship at sixteen. Cheating wasn’t inevitable. Sure, he’d been a teenager at the mercy of his hormones, had found other girls attractive, but he hadn’t once considered so much as kissing anyone other than Bobbi Jo.

  As far as he knew, his uncles had never cheated. Cash had grown up with them as father figures as much as his own.

  It was a lot to think about.

  “Ready?” Abbi bounded back in. Her hair remained in a messy ponytail, but she wore her clothes from the previous day, only freshly laundered.

  “I’ll get my boots.”

  He led her to the side of the barn where the tractor sat with the feeder attachment already hooked and filled. Slowing, he eyed the setup.

  “I didn’t mention,” he glanced at her, “that it’s not a two-seater.”

  “So… I run behind you or what?”

  It was hard to get her worked up. He liked that about her. “I can show you how to drive, or you can stand and hang on.”

  He expected a dubious, Are you kidding? Riding shotgun was something he and his cousins had always done. The safety police would’ve had a heart attack if they’d seen how the kids would plant their feet on one of the steps and hold on as huge wheels turned in front and behind them.

  She clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “I’ll hang on and watch you drive first. Then I’ll take over. I don’t want to run over any cows.”

  He hopped in and fired it up, then showed Abbi where to grip. Fighting the smile on his face proved impossible as she oohed and aahed over everything.

  “This is so beautiful.” She whipped her head around, her cheeks pink from the chilly breeze, tendrils of hair licking her face. “I bet it’s gorgeous in the summer, all green and full of wildflowers. Ohmigosh, is that a hawk? It’s huge!” She released a gusty sigh. “I miss this. I didn’t get to help Grandpa much because I was too young, but I can remember playing in the fields.”

  She chatted and asked questions about what they were doing. Cash flat-out laughed at her excitement over filling the troughs with feed.

  “Look at that!” She practically danced on her perch. “It just shoots out from that wagon-thingy and—boom! Cows are fed.”

  He normally enjoyed his morning chores. They’d become a comforting routine, a way to reconnect with the basics of life. He had a job, healthy cows, fertile bulls, and was surrounded by family. But Abbi’s presence and exuberance showed that maybe, just maybe, he’d been a little lonely.

  “Are we done?” Abbi didn’t sound like she wanted it to be over.

  “Way more cattle, honey.”

  “I’ll drive on the way back.”

  ***

  Abbi’s fatigue drained away. The sun was peeking out behind thin clouds, cows meandered across the field for breakfast, and the drone of the tractor wasn’t unpleasant.

  Suck it, Ellis. His incessant texts had woken her up early. If she’d continued sleeping, she would’ve missed this.

  How exhilarating.

  She’d left her phone on silent in the guest bedroom. The day was hers—early morning fresh air, no one but her and a hot rancher.

  Thank you, Ellis.

  Cash maneuvered the tractor across an expanse of pasture that had tire tracks and paralleled the dirt road that ran past his house.

  She leaned in. “Where are we going?”

  “To the bull pasture. We keep them separate from the cows.” He slid her an amused look. “After they’re done fuckin’.”

  “How scandalous! You said you were bringing them into the stockyard around the barn for the winter. What do you do with the bulls when they can’t, you know, fraternize?”

  “We drive them over to Travis’s house. I can’t give ’em enough room in my place.”

  “Drive?”

  “Gate.”

  Drive a gate? She followed Cash’s gaze. Oh. Abbi playfully scowled at him before she jumped down and opened the metal gate between pastures. Cash idled through and stopped to wait for her.

  “We could load them up into a trailer and literally drive them over,” he explained, “but it’s easier to take the horses and herd them. It’s not far.” He flashed her the panty-melting grin she lived for. Only this time, his eyes were fully engaged, too. “And it’s fun as hell.”

  “A real cattle drive. Awesome.” So much better than counting someone else’s money all day.

  She was in the wrong profession. Could she change it? What would her parents think if she came home and told them she was done at the bank?

  No, they’d want her to have an alternate in place first. What else could she do? Sell her sketches at a street fair?

  Shoving her worries away, she lifted her face to the sun. The temperature had risen, promising another vibrant Midwest autumn day.

  They wrapped up feeding and Cash stopped the tractor.

  “Your turn.”

  They switched spots without her jumping down and it involved his hands on her hips getti
ng really close. She flushed, and it had nothing to do with the sunshine.

  Last night, she’d been close to him, too. It messed with a girl’s mind. She had never felt that flustered around a man or been that…anticipatory. The feeling amassed the longer she was around him. The commitment-phobe player loved his family hard, was passionate about his work, and treated her like…herself.

  She didn’t want to go back home. Never mind the mess with Ellis and either finding her own place or moving back in with her parents. She didn’t want to go back and deal with any of it. She had no desire to return to her boring, plain life.

  And today, she didn’t have to worry about it.

  She settled into the seat warm with Cash’s body heat. She’d rather be personally enveloped in his heat. “Okay, what now?”

  “Have you ever driven a stick shift?”

  She scanned the dash and levers. “Absolutely. My high school car was a standard.”

  “Well, it’s kind of like that, but you have a throttle.”

  He ran through the explanation, and after a few jerks and lurches, she was cruising along with Cash standing on the side.

  “This is so fun!” She wasn’t going very fast, but she doubted she’d have more fun driving a race car. Once they crossed the pasture, she stopped the tractor. “Gate.”

  His eyes sparkling with humor, he jumped down and opened the gate. When he clambered back on, she grinned and rolled through.

  “Now what?” she asked.

  “I could introduce you to the world of fixing fences, but Sissy has her meeting with the recruiter and I need a shower first.” He paused for a moment. “I can take you back to town or you can hang out at the house.”

  She mentally beamed at his offer, but she’d be alone at his place with nothing to do but miss him and feel like a freeloader. “I can grab a fresh pair of clothes in town, and I’d love to check on Frankie and her place.”

  A glow of surprise lit his eyes. “Sure. I planned to stop by after the recruiter.”

  “Pick me up from the hotel before you go? I owe you lunch this time and I never got to try that omelet.”

  “It’s a date, honey.”

  ***

  Abbi brushed through her hair, smiling to herself about her sort-of date with Cash. She looked forward to it more than a legit date. Going with Cash to check on Frankie and her cats meant more than any are we going to hook up or not date.