Long Hard Fall Read online

  She chuckled. “Drove my family nuts. I was always a bit of a loose cannon. I mean, if anyone tossed out the call for a daring adventure, I was on board.”

  “Was?”

  She nodded. “I’ve really grown up.” She almost winced at the bitterness in her voice.

  A sexy smile curved his lips. “The other night was you all grown up?”

  That earned him a dirty look. “Ha-ha. No, it was more like a temporary regression.”

  A moment of hurt crossed his face.

  “Not that I regret it,” she added hastily. “I just regret the drinks I had before you joined me.”

  His sharp gaze pinned her, but she couldn’t read his expression. When he looked away and the heat of his speculation left her, she wanted to jump over the saddle and get it back.

  “Remember how to turn Mandrell?” he asked. “We’d better get back.”

  After they swung the horses around—and hers had noticeably picked up her pace now that home was in sight—he asked, “So what does a grown-up Abbi usually do?”

  She snorted a laugh. “Boring shit.” She swept her hand around them. “This is the most exciting thing I’ve done in years. God, I feel like I’ve been in prison since I graduated and got a job.”

  “I still say you can find work you’re passionate about.”

  “Maybe.” Not without Ellis’s contribution to the bills. Now she had to pay for her own roof over her head. “But after Perry’s funeral, I saw how important it was I don’t heap additional stress onto my parents. I can’t bring myself to disrupt what peace they’ve found.” But at the same time, she refused to go back to the world where Ellis and Mom and Dad ran her life. No one was making decisions for her from now on. Yes, the way she’d acted in college had been immature, but not out of the ordinary for a young college woman, certainly not enough for her to sign over control of her life and the decisions she made. When Perry’s life insurance paid her tuition, she couldn’t throw her education away by being a precocious girl.

  Coming here had been her first act as a grown-ass woman, albeit a few years too late. She couldn’t go back and be the girl who never rippled the waters after this. But she’d better call Mom when she got back. They’d be mollified as long as she touched base, and it was worth being lectured that Ellis had her best interests in mind and she should listen to him.

  Ignoring his texts was more power than she’d had over her life lately.

  Cemented into her newfound identity, she didn’t retreat into her mind for the rest of the ride. Instead, she asked more about his sister.

  “She’s in nursing school, taking after Mom. Well, she’s planning on nursing. She has to get into the program, and I don’t know if her grades will make the cut.”

  “What’s her backup plan?”

  He let out a gusty sigh. “I doubt she has one.”

  Yep, worried brother. She adjusted her position in the saddle. As exhilarating as horseback riding was, her nether region wasn’t used to it. Cash could probably ride for days.

  His house came into sight and he muttered, “What now.”

  Chapter Nine

  Cash ground his teeth together as he stared at his sister’s car. Abbi came to town and all hell broke loose with his family. He was caught between devoting his time to her and just using her to distance himself from the drama. But it seemed everyone was migrating to his house.

  “Whose car is that?” Abbi was starting to shift and adjust in her seat. An hour and a half of riding was enough for her back end, as he’d expected.

  “Sissy’s.” Hannah might hate that nickname, but she’d only been ten when he’d left home, so she’d stayed Sissy. “Might as well meet more of my family since you’ve gotten the rundown of our drama.”

  Hannah must’ve gotten the news from Dad if she’d rushed down here so fast. Mom had probably left town in the last couple of hours. Hopefully his sister wasn’t crumbling under the news of the divorce. He liked to think she’d been spared from the contention in their parents’ marriage.

  He led them through the gate and back into the pasture the horses spent the majority of their time in.

  “I wish it were under better circumstances.” Abbi’s brow furrowed as she steered Mandrell, who would follow Patsy Cline anywhere, but it gave Abbi some good practice.

  Cash agreed, but just like he couldn’t change how he was born, he wouldn’t waste time wishing things were different. Just roll with the punches like he always did.

  He stopped their horses outside of the barn so they could store the tack and give the horses a quick brush. Abbi groaned as she dismounted and mimicked him as he unbuckled gear. He handed her a brush. They took more time than needed grooming their horses.

  “I thought I’d find you out here.” His sister’s tortured voice resonated through the barn. “Oh… I didn’t know you had company.”

  Instantly, Sissy perked up, her tears forgotten. He watched her approach over Patsy Cline’s back. Sissy’s gaze was riveted on Abbi as she pushed her long, brown hair behind her ears.

  “I’ll be nice and introduce you as Hannah,” Cash said. “This is Abbi. She’d never ridden a horse before today.”

  Sissy smiled widely despite her red-rimmed eyes and crossed to stroke Mandrell’s head. “My brother is the best one to teach you. He has a way with horses that he doesn’t have with people.”

  “I can handle people,” he mumbled.

  She rolled her eyes toward them. “Yeah, but you actually like horses.”

  Abbi laughed. “I don’t think I’m ready for any riding competitions, but it was fun.”

  He almost asked Sissy if she was okay, but with Abbi around, she probably wouldn’t speak openly. And Abbi didn’t need to deal with any more of his family’s shit.

  “I’m going to join the navy,” Sissy announced abruptly.

  Cash blinked at her in shock. “What brought that on?” She had no idea what she was getting into.

  “Some asshole at school said I wouldn’t get into nursing school with my grades. So fuck it, I can be a medic or something. Same thing, right?”

  “No, it isn’t, and you should know that before you join. And who was the asshole?”

  Sissy huffed. “My college adviser. What does he know?” She squared her shoulders, her standard mutinous look on her face. “It’d give me experience and would look good on a nursing application.”

  “So would being a CNA, right?”

  Sissy glanced away. “I got fired,” she said under her breath.

  Abbi watched their exchange silently. He wished the horses weren’t between them, because he itched to hold her hand.

  “The military might be good for you then,” he said.

  Sissy’s surprised expression landed on him. “Seriously. You’re okay with it?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a huge change, don’t doubt that. But you’ll get to experience a lot in a controlled environment. I just want you to make sure you know what you want, what’s offered, and what benefits you’ll get. Ask a lot of questions and take some time to decide.”

  His sister’s demeanor lightened as his words got through to her. It’d be a miracle if she listened, but if her decision could just be a little less impulsive, he would consider it a success.

  He took the lead from Abbi and led the horses back to the pasture. “How long are you staying?” he called to Sissy.

  Abbi waited next to his sister, looking as comfortable as could be with her hands clenched in front of her and her gaze darting around. He liked it as much as he liked the first time he’d seen her standing in the barn’s doorway.

  “I…quit the semester.”

  Cash cringed. That was such a Sissy move.

  “I have a meeting with the recruiter tomorrow.”

  “I’ll go with.” He could at least make sure she signed on the dotted line with confidence.

  “Just don’t tell Mom or Dad. I’ll do it—later.”

  For once, he agreed with her. “Go fire up the g
rill. We’ll talk over supper. Okay with you, Abbi?”

  He’d call the hospital and check on Frankie while he grilled. Sissy wasn’t in any shape to be alone and he didn’t want to take Abbi back to town so soon—or at all tonight. Leaving her with Sissy was just poor hospitality on his part. And who knew what trouble Sissy would cook up while he was gone. Hell, what would she do while he was there?

  ***

  Abbi and Sissy laughed in the kitchen. They’d gotten so loud, he’d had a hard time hearing Frankie. She was doing better but didn’t know when she’d get released. Knowing she was in good hands took some weight off his shoulders as he finished supper. He stopped before he went inside, the plate of steaks steaming in his hand.

  Sissy was giggling as she and Abbi chopped tomatoes and cucumbers for a salad. Abbi waved around the knife, telling some story he couldn’t hear.

  The doubts he’d had his entire life about his chances for a family diminished with the sight. Why couldn’t he make a girl happy? He wasn’t Dad. He wasn’t geared toward cheating. At least, he didn’t think he was. He hadn’t been in a relationship long enough to try. Except for some dating in high school with copious amounts of warnings to treat her right and don’t break her heart from Mom, he’d given up trying.

  You’re just like your dad. But Mom never said that in regard to women. She said it every time he rode at a breakneck speed to chase down a loose bull. He heard it during cattle drives when they coaxed a hundred head of cattle into another pasture. Or when he fooled around and stood up in the saddle. People told him he was just like his dad when they saw the two of them standing together. But he wasn’t his dad. Why had that dawned on him just now?

  Maybe…maybe he could…explore this thing with Abbi. Because when he was with her, he knew no other woman. He hadn’t once thought about heading out to get laid. And if he thought about sex, or anything leading up to the act, it was Abbi he wanted.

  “Dude, do you see a ghost?” Sissy called through the door. “I knew this place was haunted. I mean, it’s only Gramps. Probably. It’d be creepy if it weren’t. Wait—it’d be creepy if it were.”

  Abbi’s stiffened and she squinted into each corner.

  He stepped in to finish supper preparations. “Gramps didn’t pass away here,” he clarified.

  “But his spirit is tied to the place.” Sissy bounced toward the dining room with a dish of potato salad in her hands. “There are worse people to haunt you, just saying.”

  “The house isn’t haunted.” Cash crowded next to Abbi; she didn’t move away. “But Sissy’s right. He was pretty protective of us when he was alive.”

  “Just no summonings, please,” Abbi said, “or I’m walking home.”

  He chuckled and bent to kiss her neck. She jumped and he nipped harder. His body roared to life.

  Not now. He embraced all the discipline he could muster. Just because he’d had the epiphany he could maybe think about having a girlfriend without making her miserable, it didn’t mean Abbi was the one. Starting a relationship with secrets was a good way to hurt her.

  She slid him a wicked smile that tangled up his insides and picked up her lettuce salad. She winked. “Nice meat.”

  He chuckled and followed her into the dining room with his platter of steaks.

  The meal was like their normal family get-togethers, the good ones when no one was irate with anyone else. Sissy told stories about her barrel-riding days and Abbi’s interest seemed genuine, not feigned, unlike most people when Sissy got started on her passion.

  Then somehow, the topic turned to the pranks Cash and his cousins played on each other. They’d started out putting hay in each others’ hats, then grown to moving trucks to the other side of the field when they were out working. Abbi roared with laughter at a retelling of the time Aaron drove the yard mower to town to go through the drive-thru at the burger joint. He’d only been sixteen and his parents hadn’t been thrilled when the cops had given them a courtesy call.

  She added a few of her own with Perry. Cash tried to relax while hearing the stories of her brother. Perry sounded much more carefree than the soldier Cash had known.

  Sissy pushed her plate away and plopped her elbows on the table. “I bet you two are close.”

  Cash tensed. Oh shit, they’d never told Sissy who exactly Abbi was.

  “Yeah, we were.” She passed Sissy a sad smile. “He was killed in action almost three years ago.”

  A myriad of emotions crossed Sissy’s face. A mix of confusion, horror, and remorse. “I’m so sorry.”

  Abbi waved her off. “It was really nice, actually, to talk about him without everyone going all gushy eyed and serious.” She took a pull off her beer. “It’s like at home, my parents use his death as a reminder, like a constant lesson. They don’t want to lose me, too.”

  “Your parents ride your ass about being an adult? So hypocritical.” Sissy shook her head, brown hair flying. “Like I don’t notice that they don’t have their shit together, either.”

  “Sissy!” Nothing like airing dirty laundry in front of his guest. It was different when he confided to her, but to hang it out there at the dinner table?

  “I know, right?” Abbi talked over him. “I feel like it’s a lot of pressure. Like I’m the hinge that’s keeping it all together.”

  Cash reclined in this chair while the girls had a major bonding moment. He’d never felt like he was keeping the family together, quite the opposite. He’d always held the blame for tearing his parents apart. The adult part of his brain knew his thought process as a kid wasn’t logical, that Dad was to blame—but did it matter?

  This conversation wasn’t about him, though. Sissy had someone who understood, which was something he could never give her.

  His gaze danced between them as they faced each other, talking with their hands and punctuating sentences with “dude.”

  Then Sissy slammed her hand on the table, jerking his attention off Abbi’s twinkling hazel eyes. “Seriously? You haven’t?”

  “I’ve been fishing, I just haven’t caught anything.”

  Sissy snapped her fingers and circled her hand in the air like she was rounding them up. “Grab the gear, Cash. We need to fix this.”

  ***

  Abbi giggled as she shucked her shoes. When was the last time she’d had this much fun? And alcohol wasn’t involved. Good, clean entertainment.

  She eyed the shore of the lake. Brown, crusty cattails grew in patches. Shriveled weeds and grass lined the shore, along with a few feet of mud.

  Clean wasn’t in the cards tonight. She rolled up her pants as far as she could, which was only to her shins.

  “The water’s going to be cold.” Cash spread out gear on a gigantic rock that made a perfect table. “You can use the rocks to fish from. That’s what we usually do; it’s why we piled them here.”

  “Where in the world did you find huge rocks like this? Did you buy them?”

  Sissy chuckled. “We cleaned them out of the fields.”

  Different world. Her grandparents had likely done the same thing, but she’d been too young to care about the logistics. She straightened with a grin and studied the shore. “Bet I can get closer like this.”

  Hannah was already rolling her jeans. “Great minds think alike. We need to immerse ourselves in the process.”

  Abbi tiptoed to Cash. The fresh smell of the lake draped over her. What would it be like to have full access to a place like this? She could come out here and sit, not stress about ex-boyfriends or how her parents were reacting to the breakup. She could perch on a rock and soak up sunbeams, just because. Watch Cash fish, watch his muscles flex and bunch as he cast. But what she’d anticipate, what she’d study for hours, was that look of calm on his face. When he relaxed fully, when he seemed at peace, Abbi wanted to draw him. The real Cash. How many people saw him like that?

  “Abbi?”

  Oops. Too much staring, not enough listening. “I didn’t hear. Say it again?”

  He handed her
a fishing pole.

  She accepted it, giddiness warming her body. “Is that a marshmallow?”

  “Cheap bait for stocked trout.” Hannah bounced to the rock and lifted her rod. “Kinda like cheating, but better than driving fifteen miles one way to the nearest public lake.”

  “So this should be a gimme.” She picked her way through the mud. Cold, squishy earth stuck between her toes.

  “Go, go, go, go.” Hannah had already chosen her spot and cast.

  Cash hauled himself up to the rock and stood to cast. “A gimme doesn’t mean I’m cleaning your fish for you.”

  After a few minutes, the end of Abbi’s rod jerked. “I got one, I got one.” She tried jumping up and down as she reeled it in, but her feet were stuck in the mud. She waved her arm for balance, but fell backward.

  Hannah laughed, but by the time Abbi’s butt hit the ground, Cash was by her side. He handed the rod off to his sister and held out a hand for Abbi.

  “My fish!” Abbi got out between laughs. Ice water seeped through her pants and she was covered in muck.

  She clasped Cash’s warm hand. He popped her up, steadying her with another hand at her waist.

  “Don’t worry.” He held her. “Hannah’s got it for you to reel in after you stand up.”

  He walked her to Hannah’s side. She had laid her own rod down and presented hers.

  Abbi brought the fish in with Cash murmuring encouragement in her ear. Her face had to be split from ear to ear with her grin. His soothing voice, his hands on her. A beautiful, wiggling trout hanging off her line.

  They hung around to fish for another hour before she started shivering too badly. Abbi would’ve gutted it out, but Hannah’s teeth were chattering and Cash was constantly shooting her and his sister worried looks.

  Cleaning the fish was even fun.

  “You’ll have to let me cook these for you.” Abbi bit her lip after the words left her mouth. Was that too presumptuous? She wanted to come back, or stay—either way, she didn’t want this to end.

  “Of course.” Cash loaded their gear and spread out a towel in the passenger seat of his pickup for her to sit on. “The full experience is what Sissy promised you.”